Take the PLunge!

Who’s the TV freak? It’s the girl judge at the Pinoy Idol! Kaya naman nakakaasiwa panuorin ang Pinoy version ng Idol, sensha just my opinion. Dahil aside sa di na nga magagaling ang contestants at host na di mo malaman kung gustong mag-cr everytime, dumagdag pa sa nakakaasiwa sa show ang pagcocomment ni Jolina Magdangal. Ang arrogante lang mag-comment kala mo ganun na siya ka-successful na recording artist, kung tutuusin puro tae naman album niya. Ewan ko nga bat siya ang nandyan bilang, marami namanng mas may say sa kanya. Sensha. Masyado lang akong na-off sa ginawa niya sa kaninang episode kaya nilipat ko ulit ang channel. Mukhang kelangan nila i-rehearse ang mga icocomment nila katulad ng ginagawa sa american idol. Masyadong bugbog sa contestants ang pagco-comment na kulang na lang sabunutan at hilahin palabas ng studio. Ako rin naman di ko nagustuhan ang pagkanta nung contestant na yun pero there’s a smart way of telling the contestants na di sila magaling, like what Simon Cowell do. Kung di matapatan ang pagka candid at pagkafrank ni Simon, wag ng gayahin.  Kasi ang awkward e. I know magiging defense niyan sinasabi niya lang ang totoo, pero kamusta naman ang in-your-face-bitch comments niya. Katulad kanina grabe. Kaggcing ko lang, pagbukas ng tv, umuusok na ilong ni Jolina, parang sasagpangin yung isang contestant na nakalimutan ko ang pangalan. It’s not so her, ang recall kong packaging ni Jolina ever since ay serious pero sweet. Iwan mo na sa isang co-judge mo na si Wingard ang pagiging "Simon" candid dahil sa bagay sa kanya at ganun naman siya kaforward. Sorry ulit. nagcocomment lang bilang viewer.

yeah. nakapahinga na rin kahit papaano. the wrap up party of the latest cinematog workshop participants under direk nap jamir, was kind of a bittersweet ‘thing.’ Of course the fun and the bonding was the ’sweet’ part of it, and the bitter side, is that i have to report for a couple of days more (or so) to settle the "financial side" - the accounting, the reimbursements, the receipts…yeah name it. It’s the bread that dreads. It sucks out all your strength, when money is involved. But then again, when I think about it, kahit wala naman na ako makuha, worth it pa rin, sin ce like what i’ve said before, I’m with the coolest and nicest and most-eager-to-learn/help people. Ayuz!

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Somehow i was able to drink last night (aside from the massage yesterday’s late afternoon). Sarap mag-unwind. Muntikan lang sumobra ( i can read it from everybody’s faces; "shit, nestor is a bit drunk, isn’t he?" ). Pero im fine. masyado lang akong natuwa.

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YES! some things are falling in to place… And some things are falling out of place. I’m somewhat happy with what’s going on lately, but my heart’s telling me (shit, emo!) that I’ll be happier if I let go (i guess for the mean time) of the things that has put much weight on me for the past years. Sorry just cant say exactly what it is, its just that, I read some ‘notes’ (intended) for me. For you I guess who’ll read it and will get that this ‘note’ is intended for you naman,  I (so much) wanted to say that I’m beginning to lose faith on you because you don’t want to help yourself, and one more thing, I was hoping that you’ll acknowledge me and trust me that I’ll find the way for you to be wherever you wanted to be. Parang kilala mo lang ako pag may kelangan ka(yo). Yes I owe you so much, but then I guess, I invested so much emotional shit on you and all I’m asking is for you to acknowledge and trust me. Kaya wag kang magtaka bakit di mo ko nakikita lately and sort of tinatamad na akong makita at tulungan ka(yo), kasi pinaparamdam mo/niyo saken na di worth it. But I’m giving us a chance and will try to work my way from the start. Wag kang magpabigat. Padiskartihin mo naman ako at ikaw na makinabang 100% if this will mean my freedom from all the shit that I’ve been through. Siguro pag nagkita tayo, iconfirm mo nalang sa akin kung ikaw ba pinapatamaan ko. ayt? We can ‘diplomatically’ talk about it.

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Thank you pala sa mga bumati saken ng belated happy birthday. I appreciate it. Salamat, salamat! Sa mga di bumati sakin, may next year pa  naman. Tandaan niyo lang June 3 birthday ko. hehehe.

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Haay… I can’t wait to see Huling Pasada this July, the cinemalaya entry this year that i was involved in. I met one of the editors, Maui at katipunan and medyo ‘natakam’ ako sa kwento niya about how the film turned out.  Miss the people also. They’re the coolest!

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I can’t also wait for the upcoming project that I’ll be with. Shooting will start, I guess this july. hopefully it will turn out alright too.

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I watched Great Expectations by director Alfonso Cuaron earlier this morning. Natuwa lang ako. Nadagdagan na naman pagmamahal ko sa grupo nila, nila Inniaritu at del Torro. Shet galing nila. Galing din ni gwyneth paltrow at ethan hawke, although may ilang awkward scenes sila kanina pero panalo pa rin.

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Well, it’s been the 3rd consecutive year that I’ve been "celebrating" my birthday while I work my ass off on "rakets." Three years ago I had it on the tv show I used to do (which gave me happy shivers when i remember it), then last year, celebrated it on the last day of a film shoot (with some people making you feel terrible that you have to walk out and instead splurge on bottles of beer on your used-to-hang-out bar with your friends), and now on my mentor’s film workshop where I (actually we) exhaustingly doing things (RUSHING things) that the organizers should’ve done along time ago like working on sponsorhips and haggling discounts with equipment/stocks suppliers and post prod houses (JUST BECAUSE I thought I was only supposed to assist on technical matters and that I wanted to avail the workshop for free). Should they have informed me months before that this will be the scope of my work, I could have worked on it better. But what the heck, I’m partly having fun because I’m with cool people. Not that i complain (really happy to have something to sustain my earthly needs), but I feel that I should be enjoying the ’special day’ like I used to. *sigh* SORRY I JUST MISS THE BEERS! Pardon the blues. hehehe Anyways I WANTED TO THANK the family (thanks sis for the cake and friends who greeted me, kahit pano it paved my exhausting day. Thank you tere, jedd, caren, dynabel, dj, ice, gavin, rich, andre, dax, monique, jumar, patti L.,mico, akira, joe, guizel, ivy, jeryl, babit, china, la, peter and of course to my hon. Next time, hopefully malibre ko kayo. thanks again